Birmingham SENDIASS

Asking questions in meetings about your child can be difficult, especially if you are nervous, angry or upset. Some meetings may be an emotional experience. Thinking about how to phrase questions ahead of time can: make a difference, keep the meeting positive, and set the foundations for a “working together” relationship. We have included some examples here:

Positive opening questions

• Tell me how well my child is doing in your class…
• What is my child good at?
• What are my child’s positive points?
• What do you/others like about my child?

Showing a willingness to ‘work together’

• How can we help my child with improving on _ together?
• How can we _ ?
• What are your thoughts on _ ?
• It has been suggested that _ can be helpful
• Can we try _ ?
• How can I support you in supporting my child?
• I have found _ particularly helpful and I wanted to share this in case it’s helpful for you too. (You know your child best, feel free to share that knowledge)
• My child thinks _ may help, would it be worth a try? (Your child’s view is very important, if they can vocalise what might help this is very helpful)

Seeking clarification when you are unsure or don’t understand

• What do you mean when you say _ ?
• How does _ relate to my child?
• I am not sure what you mean, please could you put that another way for me?
• Let me see if I understand you; do you mean _ or _ ?
• I am not sure how _ relates to our problem/discussion/issue, please can you explain that to me?
• Could you give me an example of what you mean/how that would look/how that will work?
• Would _ be a good example of that?

If the discussion is not moving in the direction you want

• Have you considered _ (you can give an idea)
• My understanding is _ (especially helpful if you are certain of a fact and want to put this forward in a way that won’t create ill feeling)
• I have heard that _ can be helpful, could we try that?
• If you can’t do _ , what could you do instead?